Rite of Passage
by Underprivelaged Youths
Summary: "I have enough on my plate, okay? I have school, I have trying to get out of this hellhole, I have trying to raise my siblings away from a deadbeat mom, I have at least attempting a social life, I have work… and now I have ten fictional criminals to take care of. Great. Just what I need." One of those Akatsuki-in-the-real-world fics, but hopefully original.
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:** Rite of Passage_  
_**Summary:** "I have enough on my plate, okay? I have school, I have trying to get out of this hellhole, I have trying to raise my siblings away from a deadbeat mom, I have at least attempting a social life, I have work… and now I have ten fictional criminals to take care of. Great. Just what I need."_

* * *

If you'd gone back in time five years and told a ten-year-old Alexander Martland that when he was creeping up at sixteen years old, he would be spending his days at school and his afternoons and nights working his ass off to raise his three sisters, he would have told you to seek professional help.

But that's what Alex found himself doing; sitting at the computer with his five-month-old sister asleep on his chest, his face contorted into a mask of worry.

Alex sighed and lightly bounced Stella, praying that she wouldn't wake up. _She's five months._ Worry gnawed at him as he scrolled through all of the sites he had bookmarked. They'd always helped let him know that he was doing this right, up until now. _She should be at least babbling by now. But no, not a peep._ He sighed and looked down at her, then at the computer, then stood up. "Why aren't you talking, Starry-Eyes?" He muttered as he walked to her crib, humming a random tune as he did so. Stella opened her eyes and wailed sleepily, and he hushed her quickly. It was almost midnight; the other people in the house needed sleep.

This was definitely not how he'd been planning to spend his high school years. He should be going out and hanging with his friends and fumbling with some girl in the backseat of his car and getting ready for college and any of that stuff. Instead, he had Stella, Dawn and May to worry about. He was working for every cent he could – now he understood what single parents were constantly bitching about when it came to money. It just seemed to disappear down the drain.

"Alex?"

He turned around to see five-year-old Dawn rubbing her eyes in the doorway, her stuffed rabbit hugged to her chest. Alex gently set Stella into her nest of stuffed animals and turned to face the middle sister. "Yeah, kiddo?" He asked.

"Mrs. Erikson wants us to bring a parent for Job Day." Alex felt his heart sink in his chest. He hated this time of the year, because it always ended in one of two ways. "Can you come?"

"Dawn…" He sighed and rubbed his neck. "Why didn't you ask Mom?"

"I can't find her. Besides, Mommy scares me. She's mean."

_Damn it._ "Dawn, kiddo, you shouldn't be scared of Mom." He knelt in front of her, hoping that he could make her understand. "We don't have a dad, so that's why I'm here all the time. But Mom's our mom, and she does the best she can."

"But Mom doesn't even work." The kindergartener insisted. "You come and visit me at lunchtime. Mrs. Erikson said that Job Day was gonna be during lunch. Can you please come?"

It had been a losing fight from the start. Alex sighed and rubbed the back of his neck again before nodding. "Okay. Sure, kiddo. I'll come. When is it?"

She grinned and threw her arms around his neck. "It's in two months." She piped. "Mrs. Erikson just wanted everybody to know."

He nodded, already thinking of the kissing-up he'd have to do to maybe get the day off, or skip school that day, even though the thought pained him. "Okay." He kissed her forehead. "Now you go to sleep like a good girl."

"But it's Friday-!"

"Dawn Tracy Martland…" He raised his eyebrows in warning.

Her shoulders slumped and she stuck out her tongue, but she kissed her brother's cheek before skipping down the hallway. He half-smiled after her and stood back up, dropping onto his bed without changing out of his clothes. He had to go shopping the next day; he'd just change his shirt, and boom, whole new outfit and minimal dressing.

He tried to sit up for as long as he could, waiting for a car to pull into the driveway, or for a knock on the door. As his eyes closed, he thought dully that he wouldn't mind if it were his mother or the police coming to tell him that she was dead.

.

"Alex bought the Lucky Charms for me!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

_"Did not!"_

_"Did too-!"_

With a great heave the bag of cereal exploded over the two surprised-looking sisters. The looked at the cereal in surprise, then at each other, then shrugged and set to picking it up, occasionally plucking pieces into their mouths when the other wasn't looking.

"He totally bought them for me." Nine-year-old May grumbled as she mournfully scooped the food into a bowl, her nose wrinkling when she saw the dirt and hair stuck to some of them. It was only a few specks, but it still grossed her out.

"No, he didn't!" Dawn protested with a pout. "You're just being mean."

"I'm older, so I'm the grown-up, so you have to do what I say!"

"Nu-uh! Alex is the grown-up!" Dawn crossed her arms in a gesture that dared defiance.

May was caught between a rock and a hard place, as the saying goes. On one hand, she considered herself on the cusp of adulthood, so close she could almost taste the freedom. She and her best friend, Marcy, stole Marcy's mother's makeup and high heels and dresses and jewelry to put on and practice putting on makeup and acting like ladies. On the other, Alex _was_ the adult in their situation. He took care of them, did their laundry, fixed their dinners, made their beds, bought the food, took them to school, and so on. She couldn't deny Alex's superiority, but at the same time, she wasn't about to admit defeat to a six-year-old. What would her friends think?

"Well, we're both the grown-ups." She primly stood up and snatched Dawn's bowl from her hands. "And you're not, so I get to tell you what to do. So I get to go out and play with Marcy, and you need to stay here."

"That's not fair." Dawn sulked and stuck her tongue out as May dumped the cereal into the trash.

"Yeah it is, because I said so. God, you're so _stupid!_"

Dawn stood up and punched her sister's arm with hurt written into her face. "You're mean and I hate you!" She ran out of the kitchen with tears brimming, down the hall towards her room. The back door slammed, telling her that May had run out into the backyard. Probably on her way to play with stupid Marcy. She was halfway there when she crashed into someone, knocked back a few steps.

Dawn squeaked in surprise, then looked up to see a blue-haired woman regarding her curiously. She sniffled, then surged forward and hugged the woman's waist, deciding that being comforted was more important than questioning who the pretty lady was.

Konan blinked a few times, then started petting the little girl's hair as she sniffled. Whoever she was, she was obviously distraught. "There, there." She muttered, then knelt in front of her. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"My sister's really mean and I hate her because she calls me mean names." Dawn sniffled and dragged her arm across her nose. "A-and she hits me and calls me stupid, but I'm not stupid, but she keeps on calling me that even when Alex told her to stop it and I just hate her!"

Konan pulled the little girl into a hug before she knew what she was doing. "Shh," She murmured. "You are not stupid, no matter what anyone ever tells you. Never believe it. Not even for an instant."

Dawn nodded, then looked up at the woman. "Who're you?" She asked, the thought occurring to her for the first time that she didn't know the woman who was right outside of her bedroom.

"My name is Konan. What's yours?"

"I'm Dawn." She smiled shakily.

"There you go. You're much prettier when you smile, you know."

"Konan?" A man poked his head out of Alex's study, and Dawn looked up at him too. He was taller than her new friend, and he had a bunch of piercings like May wanted to get in her ear but Alex wouldn't let her. "Where are we? Who is this child?"

"I found her here." Konan stood and took Dawn's hand in hers. "She's not a threat, Nagato. Just a child."

More men started appearing, muttering and complaining the entire time. Dawn tugged on Konan's hand, smiling when the woman looked down at her. "Konan, who're they?" She asked.

"These are my friends." She said. "This is my oldest friend Nagato, and the others – Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Tobi and Zetsu."

Damn nodded and beamed up at the entire mass of grumbling men. She heard one of them say something that started with an 'f' that she'd never heard before. She decided that she was going to ask Alex about it later.

The screen door from the back door slammed open and shut again, followed by footsteps. "Dawn! Who're you talking to?!" May came running down the hallway, then froze in her tracks. She stared at the congregation of people for a long minute where no one moved. Then, she opened her mouth and let out the most blood-curdling scream that any of them had ever heard, and went running down the hall.

Pein cursed under his breath. "Deidara! Sasori! After her!" The two ninjas in question rocketed off after her.

"_Alex!_"

Alex grunted as May jumped onto his bed, followed by a piercing shriek from Stella's crib. He cursed and sat up. "May, what are you _thinking?!_ You just woke up Stella-!"

"There are strangers in our house, and they've got Dawn!" May was screaming with tears running down her face, clinging to him as the blood drained from his face.

As the door to his room was broken down, he opened the window and shoved Stella into May's arms. "Run! Get help!" He ordered before wheeling around, in time to get a fist to the face. "Call the police! _Run, May!_"

May screamed and bolted towards the window, though her path was cut off by the guy with the dark red hair. "Leave us alone!" She cried, holding Stella close to her and running the other way, though she soon found herself trapped in what seemed like a circle of dozens of the man. Stella was howling at the top of her lungs now, and May just held her tighter, setting her face and running straight towards one of the clones.

Alex was flipped over onto his back with a spike of pain down his spine. He grabbed the guy's wrists and planted his feet on his chest, flipping him over as well and jumping to his feet. "Who are you?" He demanded before ducking to avoid another fist. He dove under the arm and spin it around to pin it behind this new man's back. He had time to demand "What do you want?!" before he was shoved to the ground. He jumped right back up and threw himself at this guy, desperate to leave some kind of wound.

"Stop, or the children die."

Alex froze and turned to see some redhead holding the wailing Stella in one arm and pinning May's arms behind her back. "Put your hands behind your head." He commanded calmly, in a voice that could have been asking about the weather, or what time it was. Alex glared, but slowly raised his hands above his head. The blonde man he'd been fighting forced them down behind his back while Alex glared at the redhead, wishing more than anything that looks could kill. "If she even has a scratch," He growled. "I swear to God, I will kill you and everything you love."

One of his eyebrows arched in amusement. "Someone's already beaten you to that." He said flatly.

The blonde pushed him down the hallway. "Walk, yeah." He snarled.

"At least give me the baby." Alex continued, not breaking eye contact with the redhead.

"Alex…" May started to whimper. "I-I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault, kiddo. You tried your best." He raised an eyebrow of his own. "I will bet you a hundred bucks I can get her to stop crying in under fifty seconds. Just let me have my sister."

The redhead and the blonde exchanged glances, then nodded. The blonde gracelessly grabbed Stella with one hand, and Alex snatched her from him. "Careful!" he hissed, holding her in the crook of his arm and quietly shushing her. True to his word, she was silent in about thirty seconds.

"Damn, yeah." The blonde guy said in an impressed voice. "You're good with kids."

May took the chance and broke away from the redhead, running to Alex and coiling her arms around his waist. He sighed and kept his arm around her shoulders, glaring at the two men in a way that said _I fucking dare you to try and take them away from me._ "I'm scared." May whispered.

"You don't have to be." Alex recoiled and pulled May closer when the blonde guy started speaking. "Calm down, yeah. Sorry for beating the shit out of you; that was just business."

"Watch your mouth around my sister." Alex warned instinctively, not thinking of the possible repercussions of the statement.

He raised an eyebrow, but continued. "I'm not gonna hurt the kids, yeah. That's just not what we do."

"Then what _do_ you do? Kidnap? Burglary? Where's my other sister, you-?!"

"I would watch my mouth if I were you." The redhead warned evenly. "Now. Leader-sama is waiting."

The two men led the trio out of the bedroom, but not before the blonde procured a clay statue of a bird out of nowhere and handed it to May with a little half-smile. She looked at him mistrustfully before accepting it, cradling it close between her and her brother.

* * *

_So I actually like all of those Akatsuki-dropped-into-real-world stories, even though I've kind of left the fandom. But I noticed that a lot of them were the same and I want to change that. So, I give you, a male protagonist!_

_Anyway, reviews would be much appreciated. God knows I need feedback! Let me know if you have any suggestions - anything!  
_

_~UY_


	2. Chapter 2

"_Dawn!_"

Dawn's face lit up when she saw Alex. "Alex!" She wailed, letting go of Konan's hand and running towards her brother. He hurriedly handed Stella to May and fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her and feeling a wave of relief crashing over him. He and his sisters were hostages, yeah, but they were together, and that was all that mattered. And the blonde guy had a soft spot for kids; maybe if everything went south, he could convince him to let the girls go and just take him. Though they might not be better with him… May knew her way around, she could fight their way out.

One of the men cleared his throat, and Alex looked up to face another red-headed man with so many piercings he couldn't believe it. "Where are we?" He asked in a level voice that exuded the same calm as the other redhead's.

"Uh…" Alex wet his lips and thought about his answer. "Don't you guys know?" The stoic silence was all he needed. "You're in my house. It's kind of in the middle of nowhere. Uh… state of Vermont, in the United States of America? Sound familiar?" Again, stoic silence and hostile glares. "Go down the hall, into my bedroom. There's a map on the wall above my bed with books under it. You can look at it if you want, and the top book is a geography textbook. The girls and I pinpointed where we live on the map."

"Why?" The leader spoke for the second time. His eyes were _ringed,_ for God's sake_._ Alex was pretty sure that wasn't natural. Either he was wearing color contacts or he had some serious issues.

"I wanted to know!" Dawn piped up. "I asked Alex to show me where we lived on his map, so we looked it up and I stood on his shoulders and put the pin in!" And then she pulled away from Alex and ran over to Konan.

"Dawn-!" Alex yelped in distress.

"Alex, this is my new friend Konan!" She smiled broadly. "Konan, this is my big brother Alex! He takes care of me and May and Stella!"

"Can someone shut the fucking kid up?" A voice floated from the back of the crowd, sounding bored and irritated.

Alex snarled and ground his teeth, resisting the urge to throw himself into a mindless fight. "Don't talk to my sister like that." He said instead, feeling himself boiling with anger.

"Yeah?" A silver-haired guy pushed himself up with a smirk written on his face. Alex wanted nothing more than to wipe it off. "You gonna stop me, fuckwad? You're the prisoner here, shitface-."

"_Hidan._" The leader's sharp voice made the silver-hair guy stop mid-sentence. He snarled, but backed down. "Itachi and Kakuzu, go and find the map and the book. Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, search the premises for weapons. Zetsu, Hidan, search around outside for any landmarks, but do not stray far. Tobi, take the children and entertain them. _Alex_, come with Konan and I."

Dawn smiled innocently and hugged Alex tightly around his midsection. "It's okay, Alex." She piped. "Tobi's really funny and nice. C'mon, May, come meet my friends!"

She started tugging on May's hand towards were someone in a bright orange mask was waiting. The nine-year-old gave a pleading look at her brother, who nodded helplessly and took Stella out of her arms and turned back to the two remaining people – Konan and what's-his-face. "She stays with me." He said in a way that he hoped was firm. The two looked at each other, then nodded and motioned for Alex to follow them into the kitchen. It felt weird, taking orders from other people in his house.

Konan and Pein sat down at the tale, looking around the strange kitchen. "Where are we?" Pein repeated as Alex sat across from them. "And do not lie. I don't think you realize how serious your situation is."

"I already told you." He answered. "My house, in America."

"I _said,_ no lies. Such a place does not exist."

Alex's eyebrows shot up, and he laughed nervously. "Um." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I live here, so it does exist. America is kind of a big deal. I'm pretty sure that everyone is at least aware that we exist, if not how completely stupid we are."

Konan raised an eyebrow. "You call your own people 'stupid'?" She asked.

"Most of our population is obese, so instead of blaming the fattening foods, we blame the people. Schools can't afford books, but the money goes towards corrupt leaders bribing each other. Yeah, we're pretty screwed up." He shrugged. "So, are you guys time travelers or what? What's going on?"

Once again, the two exchanged glances where they seemed to be talking silently. Finally, they looked back at him and nodded. "Either that, or we have somehow been transported into an alternate dimension." Pein said.

Alex found himself laughing. Why not? Everything was so crazy. His face hurt like hell, and he knew that he was going to have a black eye and split lip later, not to mention he was held hostage in his own house by people who honestly thought they were from alternate dimensions. "Okay." He laughed. "Look. There is no way that you could be time travelers or dimension jumpers or something. So, if this is a prank or something, good one. But what is one good reason that I shouldn't call the police right now-?"

"We are highly trained ninjas." Pein cut him off, venom dripping from his voice. "You don't seem to realize that all of us could kill you with our hands behind our backs, perhaps without even moving a muscle. You are in no position to demand anything. In fact, you should consider yourself fortunate that we don't simply force you to take us in and hold your sisters as hostages."

Alex glared at him as he sat ramrod-straight in his chair, though trying to stare the pierced man down was a lost cause. Finally, he sighed and deflated. "Okay, so no police." He resigned to his fate, trying to piece everything together. Who in the name of God _were_ these freaks? "What are we bargaining for?" He asked.

"We need a place to stay while we find our way to our home." Konan answered. "We will do our best to cooperate with you. There's no need for excessive force."

"Konan-." Pein warned.

"Sounds good." Alex accepted the offer before it could change. "But, uh, I would appreciate knowing just how you got into my house and just so happened to have my little sister with you."

Pein raised one of his eyebrows. "That's none of your concern." He said.

"I found Dawn in the hall." Konan replied, despite Pein's sharp look. "She was crying because her sister had insulted her, despite your warnings. She's a lovely child." She smiled softly. It was such a surprising sight that Alex had to blink a few times.

"I… well… okay." Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a sleepy wail from the bundle in his arms. "Can I feed her? The formula is in the kitchen. I won't leave." Pein nodded, and Alex stood to start preparing a bottle for Stella, bouncing her to keep her from crying.

"Where are your parents?" Pein asked as he did. "Or do you live on your own?"

Alex gave a short laugh. "Technically, I'm supposed to be living with my mother. But since she'd out for fourteen out of fifteen days, and when she's here I don't trust her alone with the kids, I'd say that we were pretty independent."

"Where is she?"

"Most times, I have no idea." He shrugged. "I wait for her to come home most nights, but I get disappointed. It's just a fact of life now."

Konan didn't like how he could just brush off the fact that his mother was gone. In fact, Dawn had talked about Alex being her parent figure more that her mother. And here he was, grabbing the bottle and feeding the baby with a small smile. He looked constantly exhausted, the bags under his eyes near-permanent, but whenever the kids did something, he would smile like it was all worth it.

Even though they had his family hostage.

"Okay." Alex sat down and tried to organize his thoughts. "If you stay with us, I have conditions, and they can't be broken under _any_ circumstances. I'm not willing to put my family at risk." The two ninjas nodded in unison, which Alex didn't expect. "Okay. Uh… Dawn has school for half of the day on weekdays, and May and I are at school from about eight in the morning to three in the afternoon. May rides a bus home, while I take Dawn home. After school, she's supposed to do her homework. While we're gone, stay in the house and don't let yourselves be seen." He'd caught a glimpse of some strange-looking people in this group… and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't want them seen by passers-by. "I have to work a lot to get money, and if you're here for an extended period of time, eventually you'll have to get jobs too to support us." Another synchronized nod. Alex was starting to wonder if they had some kind of psychic connection. "No harming us. At all. I know that the girls can get annoying, bit I've lived with them for nine years, so you can do it. And I think that's it. You guys can basically do what you want, as long as it doesn't affect us, but there's one thing that I will absolutely not allow." Pein nodded again. "No drugs. At. All. If you guys are junkies or you have anything on you, get it out of my house and away from my family. We've had enough of that."

Pein raised an eyebrow, then nodded his consent. "Those sound like reasonable terms." He agreed. "I will alert the others of your conditions."

Alex nodded in relief, then peeked outside and cursed under his breath. "What time is it?" He looked at the clock and groaned. It had somehow slipped to past three in the afternoon. Grocery shopping would have to wait until the next day. But he'd be working… He'd get May to do it, because right then protecting his family was far more important. "Okay. I guess the rest of today is getting you guys settled in. Is there anything I need to know in advance?"

"Zetsu is a cannibalistic plant-man, Sasori is a puppet, Deidara is a bomber, and Hidan claims to have to sacrifice regularly to his god." Pein informed him in a flat tone, all in the same breath.

There was only one thought that went through Alex's mind at that point; _what have I done._

.

Dawn giggled in glee and ran after Tobi, who was currently tearing around the den. "I'm gonna get you!" She pretended to roar and held up her hands like claws, pouncing towards the ninja.

Tobi took off with new speed and took a flying leap through the air, landing behind May's chair, where she was curled up in an unresponsive ball and hadn't moved for fifteen minutes. "Help me, May-chan!" He shrieked as Dawn tackled him, the two toppling to the floor.

"Got you!" Dawn giggled.

"No fair! Dawn-chan cheated!" He tugged on May's arm. "May-chaaaaan! Dawn-chan cheated!"

May yanked her arm away and curled up further into herself. "Go away." She whispered into her knees.

"What's wrong? Does May-chan not like to play?"

"May's just a meanie." Dawn pulled on Tobi's arms. "Tobi, let's go play in the backyard! We have swings and a see-saw and a really cool forest! Let's go!"

"Come on, May-chan!" Tobi pulled on May's arm again, then picked her up when she didn't move and raced after Dawn, ignoring May's scream of distress. "Dawn-chan! Wait up!"

The trio burst through the kitchen, making the three people sitting at the table jump up in surprise. "May-!" Alex yelped before they disappeared through the screen door.

Dawn squealed in laughter as Tobi grabbed her under his arm and jumped to the top of their swingset. May squeaked and clung to his robes, clenching his eyes shut. He jumped again, this time landing on the ground to release both children. "_THAT. WAS. AWESOME!_" Dawn launched herself at Tobi and hugged his waist. "How did you do that?!"

"Tobi just likes having fun!"

Before Dawn could say anything else, Zetsu sprouted from the ground, making May squeak in terror and bolt for the back door. "Tobi, what are you doing? **_Leader said to entertain them, not kill them._**"

"Tobi won't kill Dawn-chan and May-chan! Dawn-chan and May-chan are Tobi's friends!"

"**_Yeah, sure._** Oh, I think it's sweet. **_I think it's six-year-olds getting along._** Which is why it's sweet."

"Tobi, why does he have two voices?" Dawn asked, peering up at Zetsu curiously.

"I have two voices **_because there are two of me_** in my head." Zetsu grinned.

"Oh." Dawn nodded before smiling. "Do you want to play with me and Tobi?"

"**_No, we have to-._** Oh, come on, it might be fun.**_ … Fine. But only for a few minutes._** What are we playing?"

Dawn thought for a long moment, then perked up and clapped her hands. "Let's play hide-and-seek!" She jumped up in down, then hit Tobi in the arm. "Tobi's it!"

"Tobi thinks that Dawn-chan is it!" Tobi grabbed her and tickled under her arms until she was a laughing mess on the ground.

"_Tobi, Zetsu, Hidan._" Leader's voice rang out from the house, calling their immediate attention. "_Return to the house with the children, alive and unharmed._"

"_OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!_" Hidan's yell echoed from somewhere in the forest.

* * *

_I'm not content with this chapter. I promise they'll get better, but yeah.  
_

_Once again, please review!_

_~UY_


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